Feeling overwhelmed with life and plagued more than often on its purpose, my purpose. Reminiscing over the years that seemed to have flown past, come and gone and still after all this time of living abroad whether this is where I should or wish to be.
“Life’s a journey, not a destination”. How many times are we reminded of this and for the most part I couldn’t agree more, that ever obsessive need to grasp every day, appreciate every fiber of every moment, every quality in a person, see the beauty and take pleasure in all things around and above all, never lose the ability to laugh … at life, at yourself, laugh with others and never forget that little child that still resides somewhere inside all of us regardless of age. It’s that innocent uninhibited outlook that makes us remember what it is to live. Convention and rules be damned … for the most part!
However having said that, every once so often, I find myself in a predicament, and realize that living vicariously can tend to upstage my perfectly balanced, yet spontaneous equilibrium, again leaving me to wonder if I willing subject myself to punishment, crave it or just don’t know any better.
Sir Walter Scott wrote “Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive”. My reality check, when I find myself overwhelmed in the life has the uncanny knack to find me.
And reflect back on recent months and marvel at the situations we get ourselves into, without due process, but with good intentions, and the objective of living. Only to find down the road, it all comes back to bite us in the proverbial butt. But not before we spend hours, days and sometimes weeks in a self-inflicted state of morose at the gravity of our situation/s, and how it alters our lives at any given point in time, but never wishing to turn back the clock.
We are who we are, due to these very predicaments we’ve found ourselves in over the years.
When these situations become too much and I find myself asking too many “what if’s” and “why’s”, I direct my gaze at beauty such as the Sydney Opera House on this fine winter morning, 15 August, 14 degrees Celcius, the early sun illuminating diamonds across the water surface, blinding you. The air is somehow silent and comforting, I look around me and feel a sense of peace wash over me, even if for a few brief moments, my trials and tribulations; those moments of uncertainty that seem insurmountable somehow pale in significance, because I know those uncertain moments too shall pass … and when they do, I’m ever so grateful for the life I have in Australia and even the tangled webs I unintentionally weave..